Help for Depression is on Amazon

Thursday, December 7, 2017

I've finished my book on depression, and it's now available to order on Amazon. Yay!

I have no idea what I'm doing here. I'm learning it all by the seat of my pants as I go along. It reminds me of when I first started blogging four years ago. I didn't know how to go about it and didn't know anyone to ask. So I just kept searching for my answers online and eventually figured it out.

Same here. I don't know anything about being an indie author or marketing my book. I don't know anyone personally who has done this. So I just am figuring it out as I go.

Just like blogging, I have to somehow market myself. When I posted my first blog post I guess I just expected people would show up. I didn't realize how much I'd need to do to let people know I was even here.

Several months of visiting and commenting on others' blogs eventually brought me readers and some great friends as well. Blogging isn't just a private endeavor, me writing by myself; there's lots of networking and socializing.

And that's actually one of the best things about blogging.

I guess the same is true with writing a book. People aren't going to know about it unless I figure out how to let them know. I don't even know when the Amazon search engines are going to kick into gear and a lot of other stuff. Duh.

So I'm starting with you, dear readers.

I'd be so grateful if you would visit Amazon and buy a copy. Only $7.99. Every copy I sell moves me higher in sales rankings and I guess that's a good thing. I would also be thankful if you would write a (hopefully positive) review.

I'm formatting the book for Kindle as well, and hope to have that available in a few days. That will be selling for less, and you can find it under the same title, Help for Depression.

Here's the Amazon link. Or you can search on Amazon with the book title and my name.

I was encouraged to write this book after getting so many positive comments on some posts I did here on the subject of depression. So, again, thank you for that encouragement and support.

Here is a description from the back of the book . . . 

Imagine sitting across the table from a wise and compassionate friend, one who has walked the same path as you for years, one who understands what it is to walk in the darkness of depression. Listen as she shares her heart, and gently listens to yours, encouraging you and offering practical steps to finding freedom and joy.

Covering the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of those suffering from a depressive illness, discussing when and if mental health counseling and medication is appropriate, and bringing a unique perspective of how to engage in loving and positive self-talk and how the presence of beauty in our lives is healing, here is a life-giving guide to help you through your own dark night.

8 things I'm not loving right now

Thursday, November 30, 2017

A couple weeks ago I did a post on 8 things I'm loving right now. So, in the interest of fair and balanced reporting, I introduce 8 things I'm not loving right now.

1. A thing of beauty is a joy forever, according to Keats. Maybe not forever, but at least a week, right?

These roses bent their heads over and died the day after I bought them! Not loving it.

2. I think this is a new thing. Black toothpaste powder.

It's made from activated charcoal from coconut shells. It came in my latest subscription box. What a mess! Black powder all over my sink that I couldn't rinse off, but had to scrub off with cleanser. And I needed to triple-rinse before I could get rid of the black outlines around my teeth. I have no idea if this works to whiten and brighten because I didn't use it more than once.

3. Poldark. The season is over, thankfully. The characters I love to hate -- Elizabeth, Ross, George, and that horrible vicar Osborne.

I do so want Morwenna and Drake to get back together. But how?!

4. Not having all these with us over Christmas.

SIL, daughter, son, son, DIL
Loved seeing them all over Thanksgiving. But, sigh. We won't be all together at Christmas.

5. Turkey carcass and ham bone.

I love making homemade chicken noodle soup. But I don't like turkey soup or ham and bean soup. My husband does, though, and, besides, I feel guilty throwing out the turkey carcass and the ham bone. They're both in the freezer where I'm ignoring them for now.

6. Stink bugs.

I think they're finally all gone for the year. Last year, we had a major infestation because I left our bedroom window open for several weeks with a broken screen and didn't realize that they were trooping in night after night. This year, we got some new screens and I went around and taped any possible opening, even if it was 1/8 of an inch, using wide packing tape. 

We still got about a dozen, not too bad. Until I saw one crawling up the back of the chair I sit in every night. Ugh. Hate these things.

7. Most everything I see on the news. I think I'm gradually becoming less and less informed about the world because I just can't bear to watch the news most days. I know there's lots of lovely things in the world which is why I'm loving turning my attention elsewhere.

I only came up with 7. I could think of more, but the truth is there's a lot more to love in this world than to not love. So I'll leave the balance in favor of love. xo

Happy Thanksgiving

Thursday, November 23, 2017

{Comments closed. Enjoy your family and friends today.}

How to cope with holiday stress

Saturday, November 18, 2017

I've been eagerly looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. Everyone will be here, including our two sons and daughter-in-law who live out of state. My mom is flying in. And just found out our niece and her husband and our nephew will be here for dinner Thursday. Our son-in-law's parents graciously gave up having Thanksgiving with their son so that he and our daughter can be with us the whole day. 

I love my family, and time together now is rare and precious. We won't all be together at Christmas, so Thanksgiving will be a two-in-one holiday. We put the Christmas trees up early. I'm looking forward to a wonderful week.

But, as wonderful as it all is, holiday stress is inevitable. We want things to be perfect, and everyone to be happy, and that can be a lot of pressure to put on ourselves.

I'm talking to myself here.

So this is my five-step plan. Maybe these thoughts will help you, too.

Plan ahead.

Make a list of all the meals you will have for out-of-town guests and on Thanksgiving Day, get recipes out, and make up your shopping list. Get all your groceries in early so you're not stressed at the last minute, realizing you forgot to get the cranberries or the ingredients for your appetizers. 

Cook as much as you can ahead of time. Our family loves to play board games together, and I don't want to be shopping or cooking when I could be enjoying time with my loved ones.

I've got a lasagne in the freezer, as well as meat cooked up for chili and tacos. I made gravy for Thanksgiving Day from turkey wings, and that is in the freezer, too, along with pumpkin muffins. I cooked up all the sausage and sautéed onions and celery and froze that so that the stuffing will be easy to assemble the day of. I can make my cranberry sauce a couple days ahead and I will make rolls and assemble the sweet potato and vegetable casseroles the day before.

Our daughter and daughter-in-law are making pies, so yay, one less thing for me.

I've gotten enough food for an army laid away. My goal is to stay out of the stores from now until after Black Friday.

Adjust your expectations.

Holidays have to bear the weight of some pretty heavy expectations. We want a perfect Norman Rockwell holiday, with plenty of good food and everyone getting along. But, sometimes we end up with lumps in the gravy and arguments over politics. Life is messy and people are people. We all have our rough edges and we all bring our own share of stuff to the table, as it were.

Try to bear with yourself and with one another in love.  Acknowledge that not perfect is good enough. Trying to create an Instagram- and Pinterest-worthy holiday will make you, not to mention everyone else, crazy. If the gravy is lumpy, strain it and call it a day. If conflicts come, try to be a peacemaker if you can. If not, remember it's not your responsibility to make everyone happy. Leave the room and raid the chocolate stash. ;)

Ask for help.

If people offer to bring a dish or to help peel potatoes, let them. If they don't, ask them. Most people are happy to help out, and really don't want to see you making a martyr of yourself. You are not responsible to be chief cook and bottle washer for a crowd of people watching football.

If people are staying with you, don't feel you've got to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for everyone all week long. I've planned every dinner for the week, but there's food enough here for people to make their own breakfasts and lunches. Of course, there's nothing like a leisurely breakfast together,  drinking coffee and talking over bacon and eggs and pancakes. We'll be doing this most mornings, but I'll be enlisting help. I just don't have unlimited energy.

Take a few breaks.

As an introvert who is now used to long stretches of alone time, being with people 24/7, no matter how much I love them, can be exhausting. I'll plan on taking our two grand-dogs for a walk or excusing myself for a little nap upstairs.

Don't forget to be thankful.

After all, it's Thanksgiving. Maybe that relative had too much to drink or the other one hogs all the conversation. Maybe the rhetoric around Donald Trump or climate change gets heated. (I'm thinking about putting up a sign that says, "no politics zone" in my dining room.)

We all have so much to be thankful for. I have a pretty long list myself, thank You, Lord. Keep your eyes on the bigger picture. And remember, "not perfect" can still be pretty awesome.

8 things I'm loving right now

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Here's a list of some things I'm loving right now, in no particular order.

One. The pillows on my couch have seen better days. They were flat and sad-looking. I decided to join the faux fur bandwagon, and pick up some soft and cozy faux-ness. Love these. Also got a faux throw; a couple more pillows are due to arrive soon on my doorstep, just in time for the whole family to enjoy napping with one after a big Thanksgiving meal.

Two. The old pillows were a sage green and plaid to match this valence. I wanted the valence down to let in more light, and to move to a more neutral palette in my family room. It was easy to do as most of the colors in the room came from the valence and the pillows. It's so calming now. And I love seeing the tree tops through these upper windows.

Was just starting to remove these valences when I remembered to stop and get a pic!

Three. Okay, I posted this pic on Instagram, and a few were puzzled by this trend of shelving books backwards. I was too at first. I mean, how ridiculous. How can you even know what book you're looking for?

But it was time to dust. I hadn't actually pulled the books off the shelves and dusted them for well over a year. I decided to turn a few around just to see what they looked like that way. Pretty soon I was turning most of them around. After all, I have them all sorted by category and alphabetized, so I can pretty much tell you where any book is anyway. 

And it's very soothing to look at in my new neutral room.

Next time I have a big dusting I might organize them according to color, just for fun.

Four. This is the first time I've seen this shortbread in the sheep shape. Adorable!

Five. Not only have my pillows needed an upgrade, but my bras as well. I'm embarrassed to say how old they are. It was time. I kept seeing the Third Love brand advertised on my Facebook feed. I was a little leery of ordering bras online. But they do take you through a questionnaire to determine your correct size, so I took a chance.

They fit perfectly, and they're so comfortable.

Six. Binge-watching Stranger Things on Netflix. 

Okay, yes, horror, supernatural, some really gruesome scenes. Not my typical series for watching. Hallmark Christmas movies are usually more my style. But we did get drawn into this series. I really liked the kids in it, but I kept thinking, where are their parents?!

Seven. On a slightly more elevated cultural level, the DSO.

A friend and I got tickets for a series of seven concerts this year at the Detroit Symphony Orchestra. We just went to a performance of Romeo and Juliet. And heard an amazing pianist. Just lovely.

Eight. Subscription boxes.

I tried Blue Apron, the meal delivery service. Loved it. But really too expensive, and I felt guilty about all the packaging waste so I discontinued it. But I now have lots of great recipes from them that I can make on my own.

So now I'm trying some other subscription boxes, FabFitFun and ipsy. FabFitFun is a quarterly box of fitness gear and beauty products for $39.99 a quarter. In my first box I got a beautiful scarf, a belt, a gym bag, a jewelry organizer, some makeup and more. A couple items great for Christmas stocking stuffers.

ipsy is a makeup subscription service for $9.99/month. I got five items in my first shipment, all items I will use, and definitely worth more than $9.99. A little makeup bag I'll keep in my purse, some foundation, eyeshadow, eye pencil (love this), and something else I'm forgetting.

I will try both of these subscription services for a little while. Both allow you some choice as to what you receive and both can be cancelled any time.

And an extra bonus one. The thing I'm most loving right now, though, the thing I'm most thankful for, is that both of our sons and our daughter-in-law are coming for Thanksgiving. My mom is flying in from Colorado. With our daughter and her husband here, we will have everyone together. Since the boys can't be here for Christmas, we're putting up the tree before Thanksgiving so we can celebrate a two-in-one holiday together. Yay!

What about you? What are you loving right now?

{I never do sponsored posts; none of the brands mentioned here was sent to me for my review.}

The Enchanting Rose teacup and mug exchange reveal!

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Welcome to the party! More than 200 coffee drinkin' and tea sippin' ladies swapped teacups and mugs and a whole lotta love for The Enchanting Rose's 11th exchange party.

Our daughter was bringing in the mail for us while we were out of town in October. She told me I had a package from Ontario waiting for me. I had a sneaking suspicion it was from our self-proclaimed "teaholic" friend Margie from Tea in the Valley. And I was right! Wow. She so spoiled me.

Look at all these fabulous goodies!

An elegant and lovely teacup. Trés chic.

She included a Jane Austen coloring book. Love Mr. Knightly. He's my favorite.

Preach it, Emma . . .

Real maple syrup from Canada.

Thank you Margie. You sure know how to make a girl feel like royalty.

This was the first time I did a mug exchange. This is from Chas of Chas' Crazy Creations. She also does DIY videos on Hometalk. I am in greater admiration of her after having done a few practice YouTube videos! It takes confidence and some courage for sure.

She shows you how to make easy and low-cost crafts. Right up my alley!

I love this mug with the raised autumn design.

Chas made this delightful little pumpkin and included a battery-operated light to go inside.

I sent a fall mug and package to Annie in Indiana.                            .

I sent a teacup to Tanya at Timeless Romantic Designs. I was excited when I learned she likes pink.

So many thanks to our lovely hostess Stephanie. None of us probably realize how many hours she puts into these exchanges to make them so enjoyable for everyone. Thank you, dear Stephanie.

Linking with The Enchanting Rose.

Do you tweet? Upload YouTube videos?

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Thank you all for your feedback on the title for my book. I'm still debating, but it looks like From Darkness to Light: Hope and Encouragement for those with Depression is in the lead.

I finished it last night and sent it off to three friends and family members to read. Which is a little iffy because what are they going to say to me if it really stinks? I'm hoping they will not worry about hurting my feelings (too much!) and will give me honest feedback. 

In the meantime, I've been looking into how to publish my book and market it.

Seems like a lot of people advise you to get big into social media, which I'm not. I haven't posted anything on Instagram for months. I never post on Facebook, only go on to like other people's posts. I do love Pinterest.

But tweeting? About what?

And have a YouTube channel? You've got to be kidding.
Then again, everybody tweets. Everybody uploads YouTube videos. Right?

Do you? Would you?

I kind of practiced a little making some videos using my iPhone. Oh my gosh. Now I think I need a facelift. My teeth whitened at the very least.

And I saw some advice that, you know how the camera adds 15 pounds? A video also halves your enthusiasm. You really have to exude sparkle and excitement.

I tried. Hah. I wish I was brave enough to upload my attempts.

But I had some good laughs.

Help me pick a book title

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

I've pulled out my book I was working on last year. The one on depression that I ended up being too depressed to finish.

I'm planning on self-publishing it through Amazon, both in a print and an ebook format.

It will be a small book, 25,000 to 30,000 words. For reference, a novel is about 80,000 words long.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with all the things I need to learn about formatting and publishing, including coming up with a good title and making a good cover. And then figuring out how to market it.

I remember when I first started blogging, it seemed like a real learning curve. But I just kept looking up my questions and figured it out. I hope the same will be true here. But it almost seems like it will be more time-consuming than writing the book itself.

I'm not sure why, but the title is giving me a hard time.

I was originally thinking of something like From Darkness into Light. Until I looked that up on Amazon and saw a bunch of titles with the same name.

But it will be impossible not to find a book title that hasn't been used somewhere by somebody. With 75,000 books being printed each year (!!!), there's just not enough words out there.

I want to have the word depression somewhere in the title, just so people can find it with their search engine.

So maybe you can help me pick a title.

A short description of the book first so you'll know what it's about . . .

Imagine sitting across the table from a wise and compassionate friend, one who has walked the same path as you for years, one who understands what it is like to live with a depressive illness. Listen as she shares her heart and gently listens to yours, encouraging you and offering practical steps to come out into the light of freedom and joy. Covering the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of those suffering from depression, discussing when and if mental health counseling and medication is appropriate, and offering the unique perspective of how beauty heals, here is a life-giving guide to help you through your own dark night.

So here are some possible titles.

1. Healing for Your Dark Night
Help and Encouragement for those Struggling with Depression

2. Help for Depression
Compassionate Advice from Someone Who's Been There

3. From Darkness into Light
(and the first subtitle above)

4. Recovering from Depression
(and the second subtitle above)

5. Hope in Your Dark Night
(and the first subtitle above)

Sigh. None of these seem very catchy. But I guess it's hard to find anything too exciting for a non-fiction book on depression.

Which title speaks to you? Which would you want to read? Let me know what you think.

Thanks, friends.

Hanging tough through the ordinary

Friday, October 13, 2017

The test of a man's religious life and character is not what he does in the exceptional moments of life, but what he does in the ordinary times, when there is nothing tremendous or exciting 
on. The worth of a man is revealed in his attitude to ordinary things when he is not in the footlights. --Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

I do think it's the ordinary, everyday, humdrum existence that can really show our character.

When the baby's diaper needs changing again. When the cat has thrown up on the carpet again. When you have to cook dinner again. When the dishes need to be done, the laundry folded, the bed made, the thank you letter written. The groceries bought and put away.

The temptation avoided.

These are the boring necessities of life. That need to be done every day, or life can quickly fall apart. The things that no one recognizes unless they're not done. No one notices a clean toilet, but everyone will notice a dirty one.

If we're honest, we all want to be part of, or be, the Big Deal. Get the attention. The spotlight. The thank you's for a fabulous achievement.

It's the daily grind that can flatten us. The daily saying no to laziness and temptations. This is where we need to stay faithful.


And just look at this . . . 

Can you believe the difference?! I can't get over how much I'm loving this.

I feel like we've moved to the country.

So the next step is some more topsoil, grading, and extending the lawn back a bit. We'll leave the further back area au naturelle. I want to add some color by way of (shade-loving) perennials. Maybe the gardeners out there can give me some ideas.

Arguing with myself

Friday, September 29, 2017

So I went into Home Goods a couple weeks ago and saw a little hourglass with pink glittery sand that just called to me. 

And then the argument started.

I always have these arguments with myself whenever I see anything pink and glittery and adorable.

"What -- are you 12 years old?"

"But it's so stinkin' cute!"

"What are you going to do with it?"

"Well, I could use it to time brushing my teeth." (I tried appealing to reason, as the idea of "fun" didn't seem to be getting me anywhere.)

"It's just one more thing to clutter up the counter. You don't need it."

"But it's 40% off." I was whining by now.

"Just because it's on sale doesn't mean you need it."

The practical adult got her way. We left the store with a few sensible purchases. But the fun-loving child in me didn't forget the hourglass. I reminded Ms. Killjoy of the time she sent back the pink tulle skirt, and even she regretted it. It had been fun to twirl around in. And just maybe there would have been an occasion to wear it. I could have toughened it up a bit with boots and my gray suede bomber jacket. Right?

So the next time I was in Home Goods, we got the hourglass. I tipped it over as I stood in the checkout line with my daughter. It was a long line. I soon realized much longer than the 2 minutes recommended for teeth brushing.

"I'm not brushing my teeth this long!" I told my daughter after about 10 minutes.

Later, I timed it, to see how long it actually took for the pink sand to run out.

16 1/2 minutes. This obviously isn't some kind of regulation timepiece.

Okay, I can work with this.

What can I do in 16 1/2 minutes? I was going to prove that this was a practical, needful purchase.

*** Work out with arm weights.

*** Check Facebook (it usually takes way longer, but I'm trying to cut down on SM. This will be so helpful!).

*** Do my makeup and hair.

*** Clean the bathroom (okay, it takes longer than this, but sometimes I just put the job off. I can clean for 16 1/2 minutes; something is better than nothing).

*** Clean out a drawer.

*** Write a letter.

Hey, I'm starting to think that this was a very sensible purchase. 


The practical adult in me doesn't give up, though. 

A similar argument broke out at DSW last week. Over this.

"Oh. My. Gosh. Look at this!! Isn't it adorable?!"

"Oh, for heaven's sake. What are you -- 12 years old?" (This seems to be her standard response.)

"But . . . 

"Where would you ever wear this?? What would people think?"

"Oh, come on. Really? You're going to worry about what other people think? At your age?" (I can play that game, too.)

I then went on to remind her of our regret over the tulle skirt. I remind her of that often. And how fun and sensible the hourglass purchase ended up being.

"But this fake, furry pink purse is really ridiculous. You really can't justify it at all."

"But we have a coupon."

"How many times do I have to remind you? A bargain isn't a bargain if you don't need it."

But I suspect that Ms. Killjoy is really a softie at heart. After wandering around the store a bit, we circled back and got the purse.

Every time I see it in my closet now I smile. It's worth it just for that.

And I actually think I'll use it. Maybe. 

Would you? (haha, don't answer that)

And what would you do for 16 1/2 minutes?

And do you ever argue with yourself?

{Linking with Pink Saturday.}

Healthy eating . . . and not

Saturday, September 23, 2017

A couple friends and I have been meeting and trying to support each other in eating healthy and losing weight.

I made a paleo pizza and a friend made a salad for our last get together.

My friends are following this eating plan. Me, a somewhat modified version.

I've made a couple batches of bone broth, both beef and chicken. Full of healthy collagen and gelatin.

This is the paleo pizza crust I made. Just look up Fat Head pizza online. It's delicious, even if you're not paleo or gluten-free (which I'm not). The crust is mozzarella cheese, almond flour, an egg, and some herbs (rosemary, oregano, thyme).

When I made it for my husband I put bacon and pineapple on it.

I made chai the other night for a group of friends. I made four gallons. It was a lot of friends, but not that many. I had lots to send home with them in canning jars.

The recipe calls for star anise, which I just think is the coolest-looking thing.

Chai calls for lots of sugar, but I made a separate sugar-free batch for those who wanted less or no sugar.

Caramel never has to think about carbs or sugars. The same thing goes in her bowl day after day. It is what it is . . . sigh. 

Sometimes I just forget about carbs and sugars. And go for it.

This chocolate-filled croissant was wonderful.

Don't tell my friends.
Made With Love By The Dutch Lady Designs