Okay, this trend has been around for a while. I even tried it a couple years ago, and decided I didn't like it. But I'm thinking of giving it another go, only this time, my way.

Bujo, in case you don't know, is bullet journaling, and it's been all over social media for several years now. Just search for it. The information out there and all the different examples and formats are overwhelming. But if you go to the original website, where the founder of the system, Ryder Carroll, explains it, you'll see it doesn't have to be complicated. It can be a fairly simple way to set up your own planner for the year, without investing in a big, fancy one.

I've never cared for planners because they always have sections in them that I never use, or they don't include sections that I do want.

A bullet journal allows you to customize your journal so you have it exactly the way you want, with the sections and pages you need.

I invested in this pretty berry-colored journal (found on Amazon) which is composed of dotted pages, helpful for bulleted items, boxed items, artwork, etc. Some people go major into the artistic and creative side of bullet journaling and it can be quite intimidating to see some of the beautiful creations online. (Also, lots of fun.)

I chose the dotted version, rather than lined. Hmmm . . . hope I like it.

I'm always nervous about writing in a new journal, because I want it to look pretty. And only contain lofty and well-thought-out ideas. Ha. But that defeats the purpose of a journal, right? It's supposed to house the building blocks and ideas that will help you eventually come to those brilliant and satisfying conclusions. (Or not. Sometimes I feel like I journal continuously about the same things, over and over, without making any headway!)

But when I stare at that first, pristine blank page, I have to remember one of my favorite bits of advice: If you expect perfection or nothing, you'll get nothing every time.

So I'm going to just dive in, and try not to worry if it doesn't look beautiful at the start. I'm also going to tweak the bujo idea a little.

Bullet journals are really planners -- daily, weekly, and monthly to-do lists and goal-setting. They aren't really for recording thoughts and prayers and dreams in prose form, as I like to journal. I'm going to try and set up some kind of combination of the two.

I think the reason I didn't like doing the bujo a couple years ago was all the to-do lists mixed in with my journaling. Don't get me wrong -- I'm a huge list-maker and planner. It just seemed messy to have everything together (that's why a big part of the journal is your index pages, so you can find stuff). So I think that this time I might put at least my daily to-do's on a sticky note on my journal page for the day. Then I can throw it out when the list is complete (pretty satisfying), and it doesn't take up space in my journal.

I am tired of having a grocery list, a to-do list, a prayer journal, a gratitude journal, a regular journal, a future purchases list, etc. all over the house. This seems a great way to combine everything together. 

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In other organizational news, I just labelled all my new-fave lip colors. The print is so small on the end of these tubes, I had to get a magnifying glass just to read the labels, and then go to the Maybelline website to double-check because I still couldn't be sure I was seeing the names right.

I LOVE this lip color. It's the Maybelline SuperStay 24 Liquid Lipstick. One end is the color and the other end is a moisturizing balm to put on after the color. I rarely wore lip color before because it was always coming off on my coffee and tea cups or napkins or clothes. This stays on until you remove it. Literally. I've woken up after a night's sleep when I first started wearing it, having eaten and brushed my teeth, etc., the day before and it was still on. If you don't like the idea of a stain like this you might not enjoy it, but I am sold.

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My youngest son recommended this study Bible. I've always read the NIV, so I am excited to try this ESV. I'm going to spend today looking at different reading plans. A couple years ago, we read the Bible though three years in a row, and I think I want to get a plan together for this year as well since the past couple years I haven't been as intentional about my reading.

I'm staying home today because of a little scratchy throat. Don't want to be near the new grand baby if I'm coming down with something. I've been able to see him almost every day since he's been born. I could sit and hold him for hours! (And have.)

So anyway, today is a great day to be getting out all my lists and plans and washi tape and markers and sit with tea and just remember 2018 and look forward to 2019. We are going really low-key tonight with leftover lasagne and Netflix!

Happy New Year to all of you, my friends!

{And has anyone done bullet journaling? Are you as overwhelmed/awed/curious as I am by the journals posted online? Any advice?}

I've been experimenting with a radically different look for me.

Just as the natural world has gone from summer to fall, I have been making the same transition, from Summer to Autumn.

Way back in the '80s (remember Color Me Beautiful?) someone told me I was a Summer.  So Summer I've been. Cool, dusty shades of pink, lavender, blue. Lots of soft grays, dove, rose. Soft, elegant, lovely. I loved it.

But did it love me? A couple things happened recently that made me wonder.

I was with some friends buying silk scarves last year when we were together in China. I held up a lovely soft pink scarf and turned to show my friends.

"That color does nothing for you," one remarked. I was taken aback. Pink is my favorite color! Reluctantly, I put the scarf back, feeling a little miffed. But I did file that bit of information away and wondered.

Then, on three -- three -- separate occasions this summer when I was in Sephora and MAC, salespeople mentioned my light olive or warm skin coloring.

What?! Summers (like Winters) have cool coloring.

But come to think of it, I do have a greenish cast to my veins and gold in my eyes, two indicators of a warm coloring. And my natural brown hair had reddish-gold highlights in it, not ashy highlights (a cooler coloring). Because I've always liked the Summer colors I think I just ignored these things.

Now I'm not saying you shouldn't wear what you love. But again, does it love you? I started testing colors against my skin and realized that the cooler Summer colors were washing me out.

After doing some research, I decided I might really be an Autumn, probably a Deep Autumn because of my gray hair. (Your season doesn't change when you go gray, but you may move to one or the other end of that season, introducing a little coolness. So I think I'm a True Autumn, but I'm trying out the Deep Autumn because it's a little cooler, closer to Winter. I'm going to that end of the Autumn spectrum rather than closer to Summer, a Soft Autumn, because that season includes lighter colors. I think the darker colors look better with the gray hair. Hope I haven't confused you!)

Anyway, what all this means is that I'm all of a sudden wearing all the colors I never thought I could wear. Rust, olive, and goldenrod. I never thought I'd see the day when I'd wear any shade of yellow! And red, another color I've never worn.

from Pinterest

I've even switched out my nude/pink lipsticks for red and raisin. Now that's a huge change.

And pulling out my old gold jewelry and wearing that rather than the silver I've worn for years and years.

I haven't spent a lot of money. I just went to Target and picked up some solid color tees in Autumn colors just to try them out. I wanted to test out this new season before investing too much in it. I picked up some warmer and darker lipstick from CVS.

I feel like I look more alive. And I've been getting compliments.

And do you remember my last post about how I'm tired of being "nice?"

Well, all of this color change kind of fits into this idea. Bear with me here.

Pink and pastels and soft colors (the Summer season colors) seem so "nice," don't they? Red and rust and olive and yellow seem a little stronger, a little more assertive. Food for thought, right?

Now, I don't mean to say that if you wear pink you're a pushover. Or that "Summers" are too "nice." I just mean that maybe if you're dressing in the wrong colors it can affect you in a negative way. Maybe all those pastels just didn't quite fit me not only because of my coloring but because they didn't fit my personality. They were maybe tamping me down, draining not only color but strength from me.

Hopefully, this doesn't sound too out there, but I really think color affects us. And it could work the other way too. If you're wearing dark, dark colors and have a naturally buoyant personality, you may wonder why you feel tired and sad. Maybe you should be wearing bright, happy colors.

The lesson here I think is don't be afraid to shake things up. To question what you've always done. To think outside the box and do something different. Just to see. You might be surprised.

Just for fun, wear a color you've never worn. Try a very different color lipstick. See what happens.

For me, I'm sure liking this new look.

*******

And in super-happy news, I'm going to be a grandma (first time!) in January! Yay!

I've been thinking about this for a long time. In fact, I think this is the title of my next book. It's such an important topic, and one that I suspect just about every woman can relate to in some way or another.

First, let me define what I mean by "nice."

I don't mean that I don't want to be kind, compassionate, or generous. I hope I am those things, and certainly want to continue to cultivate them in my life.

But I'm totally done with being "nice."

"Nice" is:

Many of us, especially of my generation, were raised to be "good girls," expected to be nice and polite and accommodating. Of course, much has changed, but old habits and ways of thinking can be hard to change.  I'm way better than I used to be regarding all this. I had to be; being "nice" contributed, in part, to a worsening of depressive symptoms, leading to a major depressive episode I experienced some years ago.

Met this wonderful llama at a lavender festival this summer. Do you think he cares what anyone thinks? No, he's not afraid to be his own, delightful self!

A lifetime of being "nice" can lead to all kinds of problems. Repressed anger, frustration, depression.

And we may end up squelching or tamping down all the wonderful, quirky, fun parts of our personality. The strong and ambitious parts. The creative and adventurous sides.

An interesting idea occurred to me recently. I've always thought I was an introvert. I based this on the fact that being with people usually wears me out. Instead of being renewed and refreshed after spending time with people, I'm usually exhausted and need some alone time. This, I've read, is characteristic of an introvert.

But what if I'm so busy trying to be "nice" and kind and understanding and a good listener, etc., etc., that I'm just worn out? What if I spend so much time worrying about what others are thinking and feeling that I don't just be myself? All this trying to be the "perfect" person, the person you think  people want you to be, is exhausting.

(Of course, this is why we all need close friends, friends that we can be ourselves with. Thank God for them!) 

So how do you counteract this tendency to be "nice?" Some ways to start could include: 1) start saying no to things you really don't feel called to do (remember that not every need is a call); 2) give yourself permission to express a differing opinion, respectfully; 3)learn to speak up when someone's being rude or taking advantage of you; and 4) walk and sit and talk with confidence (and fake it 'til you make it) -- you are greatly loved by the One who made you.

We may feel we are being rude, selfish, or bossy when we step out of the "good girl" role. No. We're just being reasonable, confident, adult people. It takes practice, but don't you think it's time?

What do you think? Is this a good book idea?

I might have posted a while back about getting rid of my heels. I might have thought about it, but I just couldn't bear to part with them. I love heels. There are so many gorgeous ones out there, and I would wear them every day, even to the grocery store, if they didn't hurt so much.

But, facts are facts. They really are killing my feet. I was at a wedding this summer and was practically hobbling by the end of the evening.

Both have 3 1/2-inch heels. You'd think the block heel would be more comfortable, 
but I think the thin strap at the toes did me in at the wedding.

Then a couple weeks ago, I fell in our church parking lot. Thankfully, I wasn't hurt. I hit a patch of crumbly asphalt and down I went. I was wearing wedges (not the ones above), which you would think would be more stable, but they were tapered to the heel as I later discovered, and so more susceptible to wobbling.

So I came home, gritted my teeth, and packed up all my lovely heels (3 inches and higher). I'm not risking life and limb! 

So now what do I wear? I don't like athletic shoes. Or ugly old lady shoes. And flats hurt my feet (weird, huh?), so they're out.

I'm thankful fall is upon us, because I've always loved my booties, and I think they look great dressed up or down. They're super comfortable, flat or with a 1- or 2-inch heel, which I can handle.

I have found a couple pair of very comfortable and cute shoes from Jambu. I've been wearing them for the past three summers. Even walked the Great Wall in China in them as they were more comfortable than the walking shoes I brought.

The Jambu shoes are the red ones. I've had three pair of these shoes, one of which I completely wore out. Sadly, they don't seem to be making this style anymore. The boots are Lucky Brand. So comfortable and I think they're cute.

But what about a dressy shoe? The 1- to 2-inch block heels and the kitten heels out there can look matronly sometimes. Do you all have any suggestions?

I had a dozen or more pair of heels. But I don't need to replace all of those. I really only need a couple pair of dressy shoes, for events. Low-heeled sandals and booties will be my go-to for every day.

How about you? What do you wear on your feet?

I've decided to try and grow my silver hair out -- long. I kind of want it to look like this:

Of course, it's possible that I will end up looking like granny from The Beverly Hillbillies. Reality is often different from our dreams, haha.

But I don't have any big events coming up, like a family wedding, so I'm going to bite the bullet and embrace the long, painstaking process of growing it out. I don't plan on wearing it down; once it gets long enough I will wear it up, maybe like this:

What's the point, you say? Well, I just want to. I've always loved long hair, but because shorter looks better on me, the solution is an updo. And if I end up with a tight little gray bun like granny instead of this gorgeous upswept look, I can always cut it again.

So, now the question is, how do I keep my hair, hair that could end up being two or three years old by the time it's long enough to put up, from turning yellow? Right now, it's so short that I probably get a new head of hair every six to eight months, with regular trims, so I don't worry too much about it. But if I want to keep it looking nice for up to three years, what to do?

I took a break from decluttering in June and July, but now I'm back in gear, with a pile of about 20 more boxes/bags on my front porch waiting for a donation pickup. This is probably the sixth such pickup this year, and one of the smaller ones. How in the world did we accumulate so much stuff?

I made a goal at the beginning of the year to declutter our house as if we were moving by the end of the year. We're not, but I have watched too many people completely overwhelmed and exhausted by the task of downsizing and moving that I thought I'd do a little preemptive strike here.

I have never been able to function with too much stuff around me, too much clutter clouding my vision and complicating my life, and after 37 years of marriage, 20 years in this house, three children, including all the extra books and paperwork from homeschooling them, things had reached a breaking point. We have the physical space. I just don't have the mental space anymore. 

The whole thing is emotional. Are we done with cross country skiing? Does letting go of the skiis mean letting go of the memories?  Can I let go of this handwriting sample from my youngest when he was five years old? Is that letting go of him? Am I getting to the point where four-inch stilettos are a thing of the past? Does that mean I'm getting old?

But the more I let go of, the easier I am breathing. The weight is lifting. It feels freeing. I can't drag around a lifetime's worth of stuff. And I can't drag around all that guilt. Yes, guilt. Because you have to fight the guilt about parting with things you spent good money on, or that somebody gave you. Or that evoke good memories.

(Now I'm not suggesting you cut all ties with your past. I'm certainly keeping some special letters and journals and pictures, some special heirlooms that I love. But the point is, we don't have to keep all of it, or even most of it.)

Anyway, to the title of this post.

One of the benefits of decluttering is that when we clear away the unnecessary, the unessential, the no-longer used or never used, we have space for, and breathing room for, the really beautiful things that are left. (Presumably, you are keeping the most beautiful, most loved items you have.)

For example, let's take dishes. I had 13 !!! sets of dishes at one point (I was saving three of them for my daughter and niece, but still . . . ). I'm now down to six (that doesn't count a couple of dessert sets, haha). I have plans to get rid of two more. One will be my set of Target Christmas dishes. Yes, it makes me feel kind of sad. We've eaten Christmas dinner on these plates for 20 years. But now that I've made up my mind, it feels right.  I have 16 Christmas dinner plates, dessert plates, bowls, and mugs. That takes up a lot of room. Whenever I want to use them, or my other dishes, I have to shift a whole bunch of stacks of plates and bowls to get to anything.

We use our Fitz and Floyd everyday white set every day and nothing else because it's too much work to shift everything around to get at it. I can't use my beautiful china because it's just too much work to  bring it out.

So if we want to live out the philosophy that every day is special and that we should use our special things every day, how do we do that if we can't access them?

These plates were stacked together, six of the large green dinner plates, four plates with fruit (one shown in blue), and six green dessert plates. They were all together in a pile on the top shelf of my china hutch and I never used them because it was too much work to get to them. What's the point?

So I'm giving the six green dessert plates to my niece because they belonged to her great-grandmother and because she said she'd like them, and moving the rest where I can use them. Why shouldn't I eat my lunch on a fancy plate?  If they fade (yes, I will put them in the dishwasher on my china setting) or break, oh well. Hopefully I will get years of pleasure out of using them rather than having them sitting there for 20 or 30 more years and then getting tossed.

Millennials, in case you haven't heard, don't want our stuff. So don't hold onto things thinking your kids will want them. (Having said that, I do double check with my children before parting with anything I think they may want. So far, no takers.)

Actually, this cute little teapot with sugar and creamer is going to a millennial who loves elephants. There's always exceptions to the rule.

I had a dozen Christmas glasses from Arby's taking up space in my cupboard. Gold band around top, pine trees and snow etched in the glass. Sentimental because I remember going to Arby's with my children and getting them, and then using them every year during the holiday season.

But now? They look kind of tacky and dated when I look at them with clear eyes. I don't like them all that much. And I certainly won't lose my special Christmas memories if I get rid of them. And they're certainly not as nice as the heirloom crystal glasses that I have that never see the light of day. They're going where the Arby's glasses sat, and I can easily reach for one when I want a glass of water. Why not? I don't like drinking my daily allotment of water, so why not try and make it special by using a pretty crystal goblet?

The point is, if you have so much stuff accumulated that you can't even get to it, you'll never be able to use and appreciate it. Once a year isn't good enough, in my book. Harden your heart, get rid of the things that you don't really love, and start using the good stuff. Every day is important and special. I have some beautiful china and glassware and I want to be able to use all of it, every day.

This theory applies to clothing and accessories and decor as well. Simple and elegant and beautiful is best.

Tea is for every season, even, as William Gladstone reminds us, for the hot, humid days of summer. A tall, cool glass of iced tea is always refreshing, but hot tea is lovely, too.

Our on recent cruise to Alaska, we were able to enjoy afternoon tea several times. It is offered every afternoon on the Princess cruise line. We enjoyed hot tea and a selection of tea sandwiches, scones, and tiny cakes and cookies. I think Queen Victoria was on to something when she instituted this custom back in the day.

Disappointed to miss tea at The Empress, I asked the concierge back at our hotel in Vancouver for the name of a good tea room. He directed us to TWG Tea. At first I thought it was an abbreviation of some sort for Twinings tea, but there's no connection. TWG Tea is based primarily in the Asia Pacific, with the Vancouver location their only one in Canada.