We need our girlfriends

August 7, 2017

Friendship is a sheltering tree. -- Coleridge

Our hydrangeas are beautiful and prolific this year.

We had our 3rd annual book club sleepover this past Friday night.

I'm so thankful for this special group of women. We've been meeting for more than six years now, and have read more than 100 books. 

We are all former or current homeschooling moms, with a love of books.

But we're a lot more than that. These 10 women are some of the kindest, wisest, strongest, funniest, most beautiful women I know. We've cried together, laughed together, prayed together, helped each other pack and move, hosted bridal showers, helped with graduation parties, gone through illness and heartbreak together, rejoiced together . . .  I think about the combined skills and talents and intelligence and life experiences we have, and I'm pretty amazed.

Nine of us gathered for dinner Friday night, with five of us spending the night, and a sixth returning in the morning to share breakfast with us.

I made signs to put on the bedroom doors. And one on the entrance to the family room, as one sweet volunteer slept on the couch. Out of 10 of us, there are 5 Debbies! We all spell our names differently -- a Debbie, a Debby, a Deb, a Debra, and yours truly, a Deborah.
It had been a hard week for many of us. One wasn't going to come and had to be coaxed, some showed up in tears, some got upsetting phone calls early in the evening, one had an emergency and joined us later. But we rallied together, praying for each other, listening to each other, and giving lots of hugs and words of encouragement.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. -- Romans 12:15

And we ate some good food. Indian takeout, including mango shrimp, samosas, tamarind chicken, and eggplant. Baklava and fancy little desserts, half eaten before I remembered to get a pic.

We played a board game.

And we laughed. Long and hard. So healing to laugh with friends who get you.

 A study done at Stanford University reported that the best thing a man can do for his health is to marry a woman; the best thing a woman can do for her health is to have girlfriends!! Funny, but the idea is that women know how to emotionally connect. Men tend to share activities, like golf and other sports, with their friends. They don't usually share emotions or personal issues.

But we women are all about sharing and talking and supporting and nurturing. Men need women and women need women because of this. (I would add that women need men, for sure!)

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. -- Proust

Coffee and coloring in the early morning.
I'm kind of taken aback when I encounter women who gossip and create drama, who play games, who are catty and rude. I've been spoiled with my friends, not just those in my book club, but the other dear ones I've chosen to have in my life. Including my lovely and special blog friends!

The ones I've chosen. I finally learned a number of years ago to let go of people who aren't kind, who try to steamroll you and run your life, who are competitive and envious, or who play games. Sometimes we have to deal with people like that in the workplace or, unfortunately, sometimes among family members, but we can choose our friends.

I'm leaving tomorrow to spend a week with a dear friend who just had surgery and can't be on her feet for a few more weeks. Looking forward to laughing and crying together, drinking tea, and watching lots of good movies.

Hug a girlfriend today.


  1. Can you just imagine how "odd" it would look to see our men interact with their buddies the way us girls do?? LOL! Great post, Deborah :)

  2. How wonderful. I miss my book club so much now that I live in Florida. We had an abundance of Sue's - Sue, Susan, Suzanne, etc.!

  3. I always enjoy reading about your bookclub's sleepover. Girlfriends are sisters from another mother!

  4. Oh, I do love my girlfriends and MUST have some girl time ever so often. It's so theraputic! This was a great post and you nailed it on girlfriends! Blessings!

  5. I agree, spending time with our girlfriends nurtures us in so many ways...
    you are a kind friend to help when she is unable to do things for herself and you will be rewarded by feeling good about helping.

  6. I have had more than my share of catty girlfriends over the years and most of them I don't see anymore.
    The oddest thing happened to me though. I think you know my hubby has had cancer 3 times in the past 8 years and I felt like some of my friends really abandoned me. I wasn't needy and didn't call on them at all but they just backed off. I think illness hits too close to home for some people and if it can happen to us it can happen to them. Just kind of sad. But, then, there were those acquaintances that stepped forward and became friends. Just odd.

    You are so blessed to have a group like that in your life. Love that you do! xo Diana

  7. Hi Deborah, I love this post and it's been so much fun to catch up with you this morning. I agree, we need our girlfriends!! I would rather have a few special friends then many who are unkind and rude like you describe. I have had to let go of those types of toxic people and it was the best thing for me. Your sleep over looks like great fun and what an accomplishment together to read 100 books.
    So like you to help your friend who had surgery. Enjoy your time with her as God blesses you for your kindness and help. Have a great week dear one!!xoxo

  8. What a wonderful post. You are so very lucky to have these wonderful ladies in your life, Deborah. The evening sounds like a rousing success at so many levels. Thank you for sharing, and giving us a glimpse into the power of friendship between beloved friends.

  9. Hi Deborah, I absolutely love this post and agree whole heartedly! What a blessing your group is and how fun to have that undivided time together. I've had many friends over the years, different types of friendship as well. I am blessed with three ladies on my street who are just as you described. Praying that as you bless your friend whose recovering, you will be equally blessed.

  10. This is so, so wonderful. I would have to say some of my best friends are my sisters, but what you have here, Deborah, is simply priceless. A fine example for us all. What a gift you all are to each other!

  11. I love this post and it is very true that we ladies need other ladies to hang with. I believe that's how we were created!

  12. What a great post about love and friendship, dearest Deborah! I so agree, that my girlfriends, both here, and in the blogging community, certainly lift my spirits with their kindness and thoughtfulness.
    Enjoy your time with your friend. I know she will appreciate you being there to help her through her surgery. That is true friendship!

  13. Deborah,
    You are indeed blessed to have those girls in your heart, and to be in theirs too. This post brought wee tears to my eyes. What a beautiful, nourishing gathering it must have been. I am so glad for you that you had and have this.

    Caitlynne Grace

  14. Good morning, sweet friend! Oh, how I have missed reading your beautiful posts. Forgive me for not visiting as often as I would like to.

    This post was just precious and indeed, we need our girlfriends {{smiles}} What a blessed time all of you must have had.

    Thinking of you, dear one! Hugs!

  15. What an insightful post--you are right on, and so blessed with your friends. The overnight idea sounds fun. Like a stay at home retreat. Enjoy blessing your friend in the coming weeks.

  16. How wonderful to have such dear friends, Deborah! There is nothing like sweet friendship to add lovely blessings to life. I'm sure your presence will be a blessing to your friend in need this week. xx Karen

  17. Dearest Deborah,
    That indeed is balm for our soul, being around dear friends!
    Happy for you to have such a fine support group of women that are kindred spirits.
    We all need that at times and you are so right in what you write.
    I've done two posts about the subject: {The Surprising Power of our Social Networks} http://mariettesbacktobasics.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-surprising-power-of-our-social.html
    {Make Friends - Live Longer} http://mariettesbacktobasics.blogspot.com/2015/01/make-friends-live-longer.html
    Sending you hugs and enjoy time spent together with your friend for helping her out!

  18. Yes, I agree, we need our girlfriends both online and in person. You've given us a lovely glimpse of how you play and laugh and share with your own dear friends.

    Wishing you a special time with your recuperating friend -- I know the time together will be precious for you both.

    I love this '60' season in life when it's so much simpler to slip away and spend time with someone on a longer basis. I so appreciated being able to stay with my mom for more than a week when she had knee surgery. I know we aren't exactly 'girlfriends', but we can giggle and shoot the breeze with the best of them.


  19. You book club women are my heroes! God bless you all and keep the circle intact for a long long time. What a blessing you will be to your friend, and I know she will be to you.

  20. You are very fortunate to have these women in your life Deborah. Great post!

  21. I am so amazed that you have this wonderful group of ladies that are now good friends. I believe having a good friend is what keeps us healthy! But some are not worth your time or energy. You're a peach...
    You do all things well, I like to call that the spirit of excellence!
    Hugs, Roxy

  22. You are indeed very, very fortunate and blessed to have these friends near you. I think I have kindred spirits among my blog friends, but I'm never physically near them, and we simply can't be that close. And I have old friends who live far away, but again, we can't talk and see each other into the wee hours. And I do have a few friends who live near me, but I can't say they really "get" me. And as a pastor's wife, the ladies at church whom I dearly love, I cannot be that close to, which is often the lot of pastors' wives. I do miss friends like yours. So glad you have this in your life!


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